Category Archives: Life Balance

Say Yes to Life

Are you saying YES to life? This is such a great concept yet sometimes difficult to use.

Sometimes in life we come across things that aren’t exactly the way we would like them to be. We wake up in the morning, having our day planned, and then all of a sudden “life” hits us. We plan on picking up the dry cleaning at a certain hour only to find out that it will not be ready until the next day. We call our spouse and are blindsided by an onslaught of “questions” that sound more like an interrogation than a search for “understanding”. Or, we planned our monthly budget only to find out that a not so minor repair will be needed at home which blows the budget. Or G-d forbid we receive news of an illness or tragedy in the family.

The question is, how do we look at these things? Should we take them as a bullet to the chest? Or can we take them somehow in some more positive light?

The answer quite simply, and as I mentioned above, is just a YES! That is, we can of course say NO to the circumstance, and either way we will feel pain. We will feel the pain as we fight our emotions, and engage the situation. And we will feel the pain even if we accept the situation (by saying Yes). But, when we say “no” we are trying to fight the reality that just cannot be changed. When we say yes we are in essence accepting the reality, albeit with the pain that goes along with it, but by saying yes we are now empowered to do something about it. That something may well include a plan and the ability to change the reality were presented with. Or, it will be simply to accept that reality and find ways to positively cope with the things we did not plan on and would rather do without. One comes from a point of being a victim, the other of being a creator, a person with power.

So just say yes to life and feel the relief that can bring along with the inspiration.

The Resilience Grid

I just finished my first reading of Susan Jeffers’, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. In it she describes her “whole life” approach to resilience. Basically what it says is that when “life” hits you in one specific area of your life, for example, your relationship with someone very important to you, if you look only at that aspect of your life, or rather, if your life is literally based solely on that one area, you are surely going to be not only very upset but quite likely quite traumatized and very much unstable.

Quite simply, if your life is made up only of one aspect, such as the current relationship failure you are in, then should that relationship fall apart the following will happen.

At first your entire life looks like the following picture with your relationship being a label of your whole life diagram.

Then should that relationship fall apart your life that appears to be empty.

A healthier approach to life would be to realize that there are many aspects that make up your life. The following diagram, taken from Jeffers’ book shows how you can find joy and stability within many many areas of your life and especially in the collection of them all together. Then, using the same example as above, should one aspect become “broken”, i.e. the broken down relationship, you can easily see how the rest of your life is still quite full. It also helps you feel very much stable.

Stable Life

The additional point of course is that not only is a this much healthier outlook, and makes life more promising, but that we begin recognize and realize all the good there is in all blessings that we truly have.