The Resilience Grid

I just finished my first reading of Susan Jeffers’, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. In it she describes her “whole life” approach to resilience. Basically what it says is that when “life” hits you in one specific area of your life, for example, your relationship with someone very important to you, if you look only at that aspect of your life, or rather, if your life is literally based solely on that one area, you are surely going to be not only very upset but quite likely quite traumatized and very much unstable.

Quite simply, if your life is made up only of one aspect, such as the current relationship failure you are in, then should that relationship fall apart the following will happen.

At first your entire life looks like the following picture with your relationship being a label of your whole life diagram.

Then should that relationship fall apart your life that appears to be empty.

A healthier approach to life would be to realize that there are many aspects that make up your life. The following diagram, taken from Jeffers’ book shows how you can find joy and stability within many many areas of your life and especially in the collection of them all together. Then, using the same example as above, should one aspect become “broken”, i.e. the broken down relationship, you can easily see how the rest of your life is still quite full. It also helps you feel very much stable.

Stable Life

The additional point of course is that not only is a this much healthier outlook, and makes life more promising, but that we begin recognize and realize all the good there is in all blessings that we truly have.

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