Fear of Success

Fear of Success

Posted on by

Many people talk about the fear of failure, but very few people talk about the fear of success. Many people don’t even realize it’s possible to have a fear of success because of the very image the word “success” evokes. You want to be successful, right? So what is there to be fearful of if you do hit that jackpot?

The biggest and most deeply seated issue people have with success is change. You’re comfortable where you are right now. Even if you have problems and struggles, it’s what you’re used to. It’s a lot of fun to dream, but when it comes down to it, you’re never sure you can or even that you’re supposed to truly have success.

Also, those around you might not be encouraging or supportive of your dreams because they’re afraid that you’ll change (which of course you will), because then you might not have as much interest in activities that you’ve shared with them anymore. They might even believe that your dreams will come crashing down on you and hurt you, and they don’t want to see that happen to you. They’re comfortable in the status quo, and you want to rise above that, so sometimes you have to make some tough decisions, which is why you might have this fear of success.

Do you have a fear of success? Again, many people don’t realize they do so this isn’t something you’ll want to immediately dismiss. Do you tend to self-sabotage as soon as you see some success? If you do that, and if you fail to reach for the stars in any way, then you probably do have this type of fear. It’s important that you start to notice these patterns in yourself.

So, how do you get over this? Believe it or not, the fear of success can hold you back as much as or even more than the fear of failure. When you’re dealing with both of them, it’s easy to see why you’re stagnant in your business.

It’s time to let yourself continue to dream, but in a way that has you assuming what is possible and what you can actually bring to life. It might be that incremental changes in the right direction is what you need. Instead of dreaming about releasing 30 kilos of excess weight, focus on the one half or 1 kilo a week at first. Yes, it will take you 30 weeks or more to finally become that much healthier, but will 1. Succeed at it and 2. Significantly increase your chances of keep it off!

Fill your mind with positive success stories of those who’ve come from a similar place to where you are right now. Absorb their mindset and strategies. The more you fill your mind with their successes and the possibilities of your own success, the less “out there” it will seem that you can achieve.

When you’re ready for more success, the sky is the limit. You have to get to the point where you won’t self-sabotage and where you truly believe you can have and that you deserve to have positive, sustained life change.

Self Confidence

Mental Training Gives You Confidence

Posted on by

One of the key contributors to procrastination is self-confidence.

There is no one in the world that is 100% confident all of the time. We all have areas in life where self-doubt creeps in and tries to tear down ideas or destroy dreams.

It’s important that you have the mental training that gives you the confidence to put your goals into action. There are negative statements in each of us. These are phrases designed to keep you from succeeding – or in some cases, from even trying.

You might be living with a negative mental teleprompter that feeds you lines that erode your confidence. This can cause you to have a battle that you can’t afford to engage in.

This negative mental attitude can damage your peak performance by causing you anxiety, depression – and even convincing you to give up. You need confidence on your side.

If your inner voice is feeding you lines such as, “You can’t do that” or, “You don’t have the skills, talent, money, or goals to accomplish this,” then it’s time that you shut it down.

What this negative self-talk is doing is poisoning the soil of your mind so that you don’t aim for peak performance because mentally, you’ve already lost the battle – and the war.

This kind of self-talk gets you to picture what can never be (anything good) or what you want (success) because you don’t deserve it. It’s time to silence that inner voice by correcting these false mental statements.

When you hear, “You can’t do that” in your mind, you need to give that statement the boot. Picture opening a door labeled, “I can” and kicking the negative “You can’t” right out of your mind.

This requires some mental training to do this. Don’t give your negativity an audience. Have some fortitude where you visualize giving the negative statement their walking papers for good.

Retrain your mind with positive thoughts about yourself and about what you can do. Replace every negative statement with a positive one, immediately. It takes practice to recognize when you’re being a downer to yourself.

If you have a setback, it’s not that you blew it. You just have to find another way. How you work in life and what you can accomplish will be settled within you long before you even make the first attempt.

Don’t allow yourself to dwell on any thought that stands in the way of your dreams because you deserve for them to come true. The mind is a tool that you can use to accomplish any task – whether it’s mental, emotional or physical.

Over time, as you implement the practice of positive self talk, you’ll notice that this becomes your new way of automatically viewing things – in a positive light. You won’t even have to try hard anymore – it just happens.

Train yourself to see the opportunities in every failure. This is a chance to learn and grow stronger. It’s almost like how we tear down muscles in order for them to grow back – bigger and stronger with every workout.

There’s a lot of discomfort in failure.  But mental training means you sit there and learn how to tolerate that feeling without quitting. Feel uncomfortable – it won’t kill you. Calmly practice working through those moments with calm clarity instead of frustration and panic.

Children, Chanukah Gelt, and Financial Procrastination

Posted on by

Ah, the joys of Hanukkah gelt! Those little shiny beautiful coins attract children young and old. And on the inside? Nothing but sweet savory chocolate.

When it comes to money, and financial literacy, many parents miss the mark. There are many movements that push for basic life skills training in school curriculums, and even in those districts where schools actually teach life skills, including financial literacy, parents must support and encourage these skills in the home. It’s a golden opportunity for children to become responsible adults in areas of Finance (pun intended…) health, interpersonal relations, you name it.

At the same time, whether it’s the children themselves, or the parents, people  procrastinate in these areas and wait years if not decades to take action, causing untold suffering on the child, and society at large.

There are many reasons why people procrastinate around issues of money. Some can be a bit involved, like teaching and learning financial literacy, while others can be as simple as the technical skills of balancing checkbooks and making household budget. Following that budget is of course more involved, both technically and emotionally.

As far as financial procrastination is concerned, the reasons can go much deeper, and into psychological barriers we are either taught at home or through the environments we live in. It may be difficult, but not impossible to overcome.

So when unwrapping those yummy chocolate coins, the same way that we should think about the calories involved, let’s think about the financial decisions that we make. It’s about present-self vs future-self.

In the present, those calories are yummy. In the future the healthier outcome is superb!

Liberating, Free!

Three Truly Liberating Procrastination Tips

Posted on by

Are you immobilized by procrastination and indecision? We all know that it is impossible to steer a car that’s not moving and the same is true with your life. You simply cannot direct and steer your life if you are immobilized by procrastination and indecision. It is what prevents you from doing the very things you need to do to make progress.

This debilitating behavior, or shall I say lack of behavior, is responsible for destroying so many dreams and aspirations. Action is the proper fruit of knowledge and doing what you know is often much harder than knowing what to do. This is actually a very accurate description of procrastination. It is the frustrating pattern of wanting to (consciously), knowing how to, but not doing it. It is the lack of action that keeps you from moving forward and making progress. Frustration sets in when you know you can do something, but still you don’t, and this frustration can easily turn into anger, a loss of self-confidence and even depression.

If you are the kind of person who’s actively improving and developing yourself, then there’s usually a gap between where you are and where you want to be. The only way to close this gap is to take action; to act on your desire for change and self-improvement. For this very reason you simply cannot afford to be stuck in procrastination. You must take action and liberate yourself from the disempowering effects of procrastination.

Procrastination is not so much a behavior as it is a way of thinking. The real problem is with your psychology and not with your behavior – the behavior is only the symptom. To liberate yourself from procrastination you must liberate yourself from the inside. It’s an internal shift that’s necessary and once you make the internal shift, it will automatically spill over into your actions. Here are three powerful procrastination tips that will help you liberate yourself from its immobilizing effects.

1. Detach Yourself From Your Behavior.

Realize that you are not your behavior. As soon as you start identifying with a behavior you become it. Just because you procrastinate at times does not make you a procrastinator unless you believe it. One of the strongest forces within the human personality is for your behavior to be consistent with your self-concept. Once you believe that you are a procrastinator all your actions will be filtered through this belief. Since all beliefs are self-reinforcing you will only strengthen this belief with your (in)action.

Instead, you must start by building a positive self-image and develop empowering beliefs. Choose different ways of defining yourself and forget about what you’ve done up until now. This is a fresh moment and you can change everything around, right now, by changing your beliefs about yourself.

2. You Don’t Have To Get It Perfect – You Just Have To Get It Started

One of the major causes for procrastination is this notion of wanting to get everything perfect. For some it even goes as far as waiting for the perfect time before they take action. Underneath this need to get things perfect lies the fear of failure and how your results will reflect on you. See, when you do nothing, nobody can judge or criticize you. Right? Wrong!

If you do nothing you will get nowhere. This universe is one that is driven by action. There are NO rewards for inaction. Only frustration and a longing for something that you know you can achieve, if only you do it. Instead of making perfection your goal, you should make starting your goal. As you do this and practice it you will soon discover the real secret: once you start, you build momentum and you end up doing much more than you ever intended to do when you set out to just get it started.

Perfection does not exist. Don’t be misguided by the illusion that you have to get it perfect. Its a weak excuse and one that will keep you immobilized. Liberate yourself and strive for a poor result that way you cannot be disappointed!

3. Change Your Perception

One of the most profound teachings that have its roots in eastern philosophy, is that when you change the way you look at things, things change. This idea can free you from virtually anything that might be holding you down. All of life relies on perception. What you take in with your senses are nothing but a vast array of sounds, colors, shapes, images and smells. None of it has any meaning in itself. You are the one that can give it meaning, and you are the one that gets to decide how you interpret this information.

Procrastination is nothing but a way of evaluating something and assigning a meaning to it that keeps you from taking action. At some level, mostly subconscious, you believe that taking action will be more painful than not taking action and by design; you will prevent yourself from taking action.

This is one of the most powerful procrastination tips and you can liberate yourself by starting to change the way you look at the things that you are procrastinating about. Ask yourself what else can this mean and instead of saying that you have to do it say that you choose to do it. The difference is subtle, but significant. Change the way you look at things and the things will change.

These three procrastination tips are by no means the begin all and end all of overcoming procrastination, but it will most certainly help to liberate you from being immobilized by procrastination and indecision.

The Decision to Change – Psalms Chapter 2

Posted on by

Chapter 2 verse 1 asks the question; Why do the nations,  “those outside of us”, why do they angry? Why do these people only look at the negative, less important things in life?

Verse 2 describes the Kings and their councilmen coming together to conspire against the Lord, to conspire against the Messiah. And the lord for our purposes is the individual who makes life changing decisions for themselves! They are lord over themselves, masters of their own universe.

And their Messiah? They themselves are the ones who pull themselves through to the new place that they’re heading for, towards their life changing goals.

And finally, verse 3 describes how these kings and their advisors, these people who feel they are somehow better than us, above us, want to break their ties with us.

As we know, when someone makes a decision to move forward in life, to improve themselves, to change their paradigm, they need in essence to break the ties with those that currently influence them, with their prior “kings”.

Once we have made a decision to better our lives, a big part of what happens is that the people staying at the same level either leave or they break their ties with us. Alternatively, we ourselves need to break our ties with them.

A central reason we need to move on to another group of people is so that we are exposed to, and influenced by higher level people than ourselves. This of course is not to belittle the people that we are “leaving”, but rather so that we can be surrounded by people who have the habits, energy, and more successful ways of life we want to emulate and absorb. And those influences are what we need in order to move up to our new paradigm. And the people you leave behind, as cold as this may sound, aren’t necessarily on board with the better-you that’s on the way in any case. And this is why they are angry, and sometimes may even conspire against us.

Mid-chapter, in verse 6, God describes how He has set his goal on Mount Zion, on the mountaintop. Similar to Abraham heading out to sacrifice his son Isaac on Mount Zion, Abraham could not necessarily see the end in it’s entirety, he could not necessarily understood it in it’s full glory. And yet, he pursued it nonetheless. After all, it was the goal set out for him by God. So too must we relate in this way to the creator and it’s guiding system, within each one if us. 

Similarly, if we take our larger goals as reachable but not necessarily 100% clear as to how they will come about or even how they will manifest exactly, we will in the end reach them. And these goals of ours, our better selves, our new paradigms, will act like our own God-sent Messiah to bring us to the Mountaintop to the accomplishment and achievement of our goals, our own personal Mount Zion.

The chapter ends directing us to serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling (versus 11 and 12). Serve your goals with the fear of losing site of them lest you let them fall by the wayside. Rejoice as you strive towards them, as you take and successfuly complete each step towards them. 

Verse 12 concludes, embrace purity, the purity of your path and of the process of reaching your goals, your new paradigm, your mountaintop. And should the attainment of your goals take longer than planned, that purity will subdue any anger that may arise. Blessed are they that put their trust in God and in their own goals as well.

Later Now

A Short But Accurate Definition Of Procrastination

Posted on by

We have all experienced procrastination at some point in our lives. For some its something that comes and goes while for others it is a frustrating habit that often prevents them from ever achieving any of their dreams and goals.

There are many definitions of procrastination, but they all seem to point to one common characteristic in behavior, or rather, lack of behavior. When you procrastinate you are quite literally stuck between advancing and staying where you are. Consciously you want to advance, but subconsciously you want to stay. On a subconscious level you are preventing yourself from taking the very actions that you know you need to take to achieve the results you desire from a conscious or rational point of view. The frustrating thing about procrastination is that although you know what you want, and even how to get it, you still remain immobilized and unable to act on it.

Probably the most accurate definition of procrastination is that its the irrational delay, aversion or even evasion of a task or action. Its irrational because we cannot explain this behavior from a rational point of view. We can only explain and understand it from an emotional point of view because the reason why we procrastinate is because at a subconscious level we have an emotional association to the task that prevents us from taking the action. Wanting one thing and then doing the opposite seems stupid and completely irrational, but that is why procrastination can be such an odd behavior to deal with effectively.

The definition of procrastination, when translated from the original Latin, means in favor of tomorrow and although you might intentionally postpone your tasks there is an underlying reason why you do it which is irrational, emotional and stored in your subconscious experiences. You might want to loose weight and even though you can see how fat you are and how your health and vitality is deteriorating, you still can get yourself to exercise. Why is this? Well, on a rational level its very obvious that you MUST take action, but on an emotional level it seems too painful to give up the foods you’re addicted to and to sacrifice an hour of TV-time to go and kill yourself on the treadmill.

This association to exercise and changing your diet is nothing but a belief and an association that exists in your mind. Because you believe it, you will act upon it, even if it only exists in your imagination. On a very basic level all our actions are driven by need to avoid pain and the desire to gain pleasure. Procrastination is nothing but this basic truth in action. When you procrastinate you’re your beliefs about what will be painful and what will mean pleasure are what prevents you from taking action. Since your beliefs reside mostly in your subconscious level of thinking, you will be immobilized even if you say you want the opposite.

The definition of procrastination as an irrational behavior is indeed a very accurate one and explains the frustration when you can’t seem to get yourself to act on your conscious desires. Procrastination guarantees a life of frustration and striving. You must overcome procrastination if you really want to make any significant progress in your life.

Here’s a new definition that you might want to adopt to empower you to be more effective and to consistently act on your ideas, dreams and desires:

Procrastination is a call to action. It is a signal that you must act on the very things that you do not want to act on and DO the very thing that’s holding you back. It is the necessary resistance you need to be able to grow, develop and gain confidence that only comes from actually doing it. When you do break through the short term pain that held you back you come out on the other side with an increased sense of esteem for yourself and you start to see yourself and your abilities from a different perspective. The fact that you are procrastinating about something means that it hold significant enough value for you to be uncomfortable with not taking action.The things that are holding you back most are that which will free you most – once you take action. What will free you most is taking action. Not because of the absence of procrastination, but despite the procrastinating.

Psalms and Procrastination – Chapter 1

Posted on by

Let’s leverage the Bible and it’s teachings to overcome procrastination.  Much can be learned from scripture. Here’s a look at Psalms (Tehilim) ch 1, v 2 & 3.

V2. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

V3. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

It’s about vicarious victories. That is, sometimes, many times, modeling after other people that have been successful at what we ourselves want to achieve is a great way to push ourselves to achieve, to succeed. To overcome obstacles.

It’s also about hanging around with the right people. The beginning of the chapter, and of the book of Psalms by the way, the very first verse, talks about how the happy one is the one that does not find themselves in the company of the evil, or at least of negative people, of bad role models.

The second, tells us to seek positive role models. And Who of course is the most positive of all role models? It is none other than God Him/Herself!

Verse 3 is very telling as well. It’s about the fruits of our actions. The one who models themselves after successful people, and in this case God, will find themselves as if they are planted along the river side. Just like a tree takes its sustenance, its energy, its power, from the flowing waters of the river. And those flowing waters, and that successful self placement, are what allow the tree, and what allow us to grow  and to bring the fruit in its time.

That’s a very important point. To overcome fear, low self confidence, impulsivity, all underlying causes of procrastination, keep in mind that the fruits will come in the right time, if you put yourself in the right situation, and use the right Role Model.

Focus

Here are 10 More Great Ways to Focus on One Thing at a Time

Posted on by
  1. Treat a task as an opportunity to excel and not as a burden. If you keep complaining about your work, you will not be able to focus, and eventually you will give up and the rest of the work for others to finish.
  2. Meditate! This helps you concentrate on things more and develop a calmer approach when it comes to dealing with a difficult task. This will improve your concentration “muscles” and will replenish your mind with the right attitude and drive to work harder.
  3. Breathe before your start your work. Breathe calmly and properly – this will encourage your mind to relax and take things one stride at a time. If you come to think of it, breathing becomes forceful, shallow and fast if you feel rushed and if you lack concentration.
  4. Create a normal and steady flow of things. This means that you need to plan and follow your plans by the book. This will keep you from stirring away from what you need to do, thus making your work effectively and efficiently.
  5. Get plenty of sleep. If your body is well rested, so will your mind be. A well rested mind and body leads to a better attitude towards work. Lack of sleep can make you impatient and in a hurry to finish things which will lead to poor quality of work.
  6. Learn how to wait. Take your time and understand that not all things can be done in a snap. Results can or may take time to reflect, so you have to make sure that you wait it out as patiently as possible. Anticipating results is can also keep you from concentrating on what you really have to do.
  7. De-clutter your surroundings. It is not just your mind that you need to organize. You also need a more organized work place – imagine trying to get things done but you keep getting held back by the clutter in your office. A clean work area can help you focus on your work more.
  8. Find a buddy who can help you get back into focus every time you get distracted. Distractions are unavoidable at times, and it would be best to have someone to keep you in synch with your goals. Find a member of your team that you can really trust.
  9. Read your emails before you start your work. If you do this right in the middle of your work, you will obviously get distracted. The lack of focus will deter you from completing even a single task.
  10. Do not be scared to handle one task. Do you know the reason why people handle too many things at the same time? Aside from the fact that multi tasking can help show how productive a person is, it’s also because some people are scared of failing altogether. But you know, if you handle and focus on just one task, it will help you do your best and your undivided attention can almost guarantee that your chances of succeeding will be extremely high.

Finding your focus is never easy, that is if you do not have the right attitude and mindset. However, if you put your mind to it, you will be able to completely focus on the important things first before jumping on to the next one.

Costs of Procrastination

Procrastination Comes with a Cost

Posted on by

Be honest – are you one of those people who puts things off? It’s ok – we all do it. It’s human nature. “Why do something today when you can do it tomorrow,” or so the saying goes. But procrastination (to give it it’s “proper” name) can cost us more than we can imagine.

Why do we procrastinate? In general, we procrastinate because the task we are putting off is unpleasant in some way. Either we don’t like doing it (like making that phone call…), or there is some physical discomfort (like going to the dentist). The task may even be boring and monotonous, or just plain difficult. Its about avoiding some sort of stress, be it fear, anxiety, low self-confidence and the like.

But the effects of procrastination, the costs, can run deeper than just not doing the task. Other problems it may cause are:

Being branded as lazy: When people notice that you haven’t completed particular tasks, you can be branded as a lazy person. Not only can this affect your job or personal life (promotions and the like), but it may mean the tasks you really want to do are offered to someone else who is considered more reliable!

Creates clutter: Many unfinished tasks can leave a lot of clutter around – books, papers or other items that are needed to perform the job.

Bad for morale: There is nothing worse than knowing you have a job you need to do, and knowing at the end of the day that the job wasn’t done. It can make you feel down, and even preoccupy your mind while you’re trying to concentrate on other things.

You have no leeway: When you put something off, jobs accumulate. This means if an urgent task suddenly comes in, you have no leeway to drop everything and work on it – there are too many other outstanding things that need doing.

The task becomes more unpleasant: The job itself may not change by putting it off, but the feeling in our mind of how unpleasant we think the job will be grows. We think about how we have to explain not doing the job to other people, and the whole situation feeds on itself and becomes ugly.

Now to be fair, sometimes procrastinating isn’t a conscious action. Particular jobs just never seem to get done, even though you never consciously decided not to do them. But at other times you do make the decision not to do the job at the moment, and just put it off.

But you can save yourself a lot of mental clutter, and perhaps even more discomfort later on, if you just adopt a “do it now” attitude. Decide that you’re just going to get the job out of the way when it comes it, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. By doing the job straight away, often you will realize that the discomfort you associated with the task was simply your mind feeding on itself as you were putting it off. And the sense of relief you get from finishing the task is well worth it.

So, now you know about procrastination you have to ask yourself the question – “what am I going to do about it?” Hopefully you will decide to banish procrastination from your life, and reap the rewards of that decision!